Back from a long hiatus

Hello to all! Yes, I'm back. After a self-prescribed hiatus of nearly six months, I think it's high time to return to blogging with some degree of regularity. I've heard from many of you who wondered where I went. Let me just say it's been nice to be missed. When I left off, I was not in a good place and there came a point when spilling my guts for an audience ceased being cathartic and became a way to wallow, which was the last thing I needed to be doing.

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven." Just as this favorite verse of Scripture has always rung true for me, so it did again. After undergoing an infertility workup, it was determined that both Sean and I were fine, except he had a very slight problem with morphology. We were slated to begin IUI treatment in early April. Then, on March 29, I noticed I wasn't PMSing like I should be. I had a stockpile of pregnancy tests, so I used my last cheapie Internet one before my shower that evening. I was in utter disbelief as I watched a distinct second line appear. We were supposed to need help! We'd tried, with perfect timing, for nine cycles with no luck! I quickly wrapped a towel around myself and ran downstairs, pee stick in hand, to show Sean. We were both speechless. It was a very long time before I could move. I repeated the test with a FRER the next morning, and the positive was even more blatant! The next morning, however, I was devastated to see what looked like the spotting that typically signifies the start of my period. I called the RE's office and they drew a beta. It showed hcG levels compatible with a pregnancy of 3-4 weeks. They prescribed progesterone suppositories and had me repeat the beta twice more over the next several days. The spotting never recurred after the initial incident, and my betas more than doubled every 48 hours. I discontinued the progesterone after the 6-week ultrasound confirmed a heartbeat.

The long and short of that story is that today I am 26 weeks pregnant with Caitrin's little brother, Collin. He is due December 10. It has been a textbook pregnancy so far. He's growing perfectly and my blood pressure has yet to be an issue. A few things are different this time. For one, I'm completely exhausted all the time. Last time around, I didn't have a toddler to keep up with. We also elected to find out the baby's sex this time. For as adamant as we were to be surprised when we had Caitrin, I was just as determined to find out this time. Mostly this was for her sake, so we could refer to the baby by name and so she'd know if she were having a sister or a brother. Initially, I had wanted another girl. We already have all the girl stuff for one, and my sister and I are best friends and I wanted that for my daughter. Now that we know we're having a boy, however, I couldn't be more excited. This time around, we know what we actually need, so buying for him has been pretty easy. It is much more difficult to find cute baby boy clothes than it is to find girl clothes, but after some searching we've done pretty well. I am, however, slowing down much sooner than I did with Caitrin. For several weeks now I've found I can't be the Energizer bunny anymore. When Caitrin naps, I nap these days.

Another difference is that I'm getting 17p progesterone injections once a week. The purpose of these injections is to prevent premature labor by keeping the uterus relaxed, so that hopefully Collin will "cook" for a little bit longer than his sister did. My OB asked me whether I'd heard of them when I mentioned to her my concern over the possibility of having another premature baby. At the time, I had to plead ignorance, so she gave me the long and short and said I should ask the perinatologist at my next visit. I did a great deal of research and Sean and I decided that since there were no risks to me or the baby, it would be stupid not to do it. My peri said that I just qualify, since Caitrin was born at nearly 36 weeks, but that if I wanted to do it he'd certainly order them for me. My insurance (and in a day and age when all you hear are people complaining about healthcare, I've just got to put in a plug for United Healthcare - they are amazing!) will pay for a nurse to come to the house once a week to give me my shot so that I don't have to drive into Annapolis for it.

So things are going well. We've already bought just about everything we need for our new arrival and are nearly finished painting his room. Realistically, we are planning on his arriving anytime from Halloween on. We certainly pray he won't come quite that early, but just in case he does our preparations will be done by then.

Caitrin is turning two in less than three weeks and while she may still be our baby, she has definitely become her own little person! Her vocabulary is what amazes people the most. When she graduated from physical therapy, she had to undergo another overall developmental assessment, during which she was found to have the vocabulary and cognitive skills of a 3-4 year old. My grandmother bought her the Your Baby Can Read curriculum a couple months ago and she just eats it up! She is always asking us if she can "watch the babies," and (I kid you NOT) can read the words chimpanzee, giraffe, and gorilla. We have always worked very hard to teach her manners, so it's second nature for her to respond with, "please" when we ask her if she'd like a drink, a snack, to read a story, etc. We sneeze, and she says, "bless you." Give her something she's asked for and it's, "thank you, Mama" (or Daddy). She looks adults in the eye when she talks to them. If I ask her whether she's heard me when I've requested she do something, she says, "yes, ma'am."

Aside from being smart, polite and a quick learner, Caitrin is also becoming very independent. She loves to try to brush her own hair and teeth, help clear the table and push in chairs after she eats, and help me sweep and fold laundry. Sean and I joke that she's sometimes even more anal than I am about making sure things are put in their proper places. Before she will come to the table, go upstairs to bed, or leave the house to go out, she insists on putting her toys and books away. We've found that this can be a little annoying when we've got to be somewhere in a hurry, but the last thing we want to do is discourage it! We're trying to build extra time into our requests (i.e., ask her to come to the table a few minutes before we need her to) so that she has time to organize things to her liking. We're also trying really hard to prepare her for Collin's arrival while at the same time not making everything about him all the time. For her part, though, she is very excited about him. She knows that he's "in Mama's belly," and she gives him hugs and kisses and prays for him before she goes to sleep. We try to play up the fact that he'll look up to her and she'll be able to teach him about all her favorite things, so I think she's decided he's going to be pretty cool.

Caitrin started nursery school this week. I know what you're thinking: "but you said you were going to homeschool!" Indeed we are, when the time comes. That hasn't changed. What has changed is that we found a top-notch Christian preschool that has a program for two-year olds, and when we found out we were having Collin we recognized Caitrin's need to be exposed to other children. We decided we wouldn't do it unless we could find a quality Christian program, and it turns out there is one right in our town. She goes Tuesday and Thursday mornings from 8:30-11:30. We chose to start her now rather than wait until after Collin is born because we want school to be "her thing;" something she loves, not something she resents because we made her do it when the baby got here. It isn't as if we expect her to come out with an engineering degree or anything; while I know she will learn a great deal, our goals were to get her accustomed to being friendly with other kids, sharing, and furthering her learning to respond to adults as authority figures in an environment that reinforces the values she learns from us. She loves it! She is having a blast and bringing home art projects to show us.

The other changes in our household involve the addition of more critters to the fold. I know that before I broke I shared our interest in adopting a retired greyhound. Well, on May 2 we did just that. We went to visit the rescue I'd been in contact with, not sure if we'd be bringing someone home with us that day or not. The director knew we were looking for a dog who'd be calm and gentle with Caitrin, and we thought we'd be getting a boy because she said they're generally calmer. But when we arrived, it just so happened that there was a small brindle female, 4 1/2 years old, whom they suggested we take for a walk to see how she and Caitrin got along. Caitrin was 19 months old at the time and had really only been walking for about 2 months. Despite the overall gentle nature of greyhounds, she was a little wary when we got to the rescue and all the dogs were taller than she. As soon as we got outside with her and the little female, though, the first thing she did was to give the dog a hug, to which the dog responded with a kiss. Caitrin giggled, and we knew our match was made. So that's how JB's Bowandarrow, AKA "Bonnie," became part of our family. She is a beautiful dog and has a very sweet disposition. True to everything I read about greyhounds prior to getting her, she takes her retirement VERY seriously. After four months at home with us, she's basically a piece of furniture who gets up to eat and go out to the bathroom once in a while. I never believed that greyhounds actually sleep 99% of the time till I saw it for myself. She is the laziest couch potato I've ever met, and yet somehow she manages to stay ripped like she's still running every day.

After Bonnie came the fish. Caitrin's always loved fish, and most likely that has something to do with the theme of her room being sea life. She and I visited my mom in Maine a few weeks ago (that trip is a story for another post) and Mom has a small aquarium. Caitrin's favorite thing about the whole trip was seeing Nanny's fishies, so when we got home I decided I could probably handle getting her a betta or two. Well, we went to WalMart and came home with two bettas, and after having them for a day I read that while they can live in the tiny bowls people typically keep them in, it's far from ideal and they should really be in a small community aquarium. I wasn't ready to commit to anything larger than 5 gallons, having had a 15 gallon aquarium with Sean when we had our apartment. The last thing I need are more things that poop and eat and have to be cleaned up after. I read that bettas and cory catfish do well together, so off we went to PetSmart. A hundred dollars and an hour later, we came home with a 2.5 gallon mini aquarium and all the trimmings, plus four peppered cory catfish. I intended to put a divider in the aquarium so the bettas could both be in it without killing one another, but after an entire afternoon of much frigging around I discovered the divider just wouldn't fit properly in the tank, as demonstrated when I stepped away for .02 seconds and one of the bettas squeezed past the divider and started in on his rival. Fortunately, they weren't together more than 10 seconds before I was able to scoop up the aggressor and corral him back in the betta bowl. Sadly, one of the catfish didn't make it past the first couple days. The aquarium came with the whole filter assembly already put together, save for one piece. I didn't see the necessity of the piece at the time, mainly because I'd already filled the darn tank with water and fish and didn't feel like taking it apart. Turns out that piece fit over the "sucky" end of the filter, to keep little fish from getting slurped into the moving parts. Well, I learned that the hard way, after finding the remains of the remains of the poor little guy stuck in there when I did a head count and could only find 3 catfish. So the piece was installed, and nearly two weeks later the red betta (Mulder) happily shares the aquarium with the 3 remaining catfish (Frohike, Langly and Byers, of course). Doggett, the blue betta, didn't read the books that say he's supposed to get along with catfish, and that coupled with his attempt on Mulder's life keeps him confined to the betta tank, but he's happy as a clam in there. Caitrin loves them, and I think I might like them even more than she does. I'm calling them a joint birthday present since she and I both have birthdays in the next few weeks. They eat bloodworms (i.e., dead bug larvae) but if I pretend they're brine shrimp I can get through feeding time with a minimum of gagging, and mostly they're just a lot of fun to watch.

So that's it for now. I have no clue about the frequency with which I'll be able to post, free time being at a premium these days, but it should be at least once a week. I gave the layout a facelift and in so doing lost a bunch of my page elements, and now I'm not really sure I want to put many of them back. I definitely will put up some recent photos very soon though. Till then.